Unfaithful

What is the problem

I press myself to say faithful

But for some reason they never do

Is it something about me

Is it something I do

That makes them turn away

And try to find something better

Am I not good enough

Do I push too hard

It seems like everytime

I think things are ok

They go and find someone else

Maybe I'm not meant to love

Or meant to be loved

Apparently no matter how good

She thinks I am at first

She can always find someone better

Stupidity

Why am I so stupid

I try to love

And it always blows up in my face

I long so much for love

But it never seems to work out

I always end up getting hurt

And hurting the ones that I love

I pull away from my friends

And reject those I love

And for what

To find happiness

No, all I find is sorrow

My heart gets broken

And I get knocked down

It's so hard to pull myself back up

But I keep letting it happen

Why am I so stupid

My Lie

I see her everyday

Her beautiful face

Her gracefully flowing hair

And she sees me

But as a friend; as a brother

I see her as more

But convince myself

That it could never be

It will never happen

The way I dream

I tell others that it could never be

That we're friends

And nothing more

But inside I know

That we're friends

And nothing more

But inside I know

That she is the one

I always dream of being with

I hope that one day

The lies that I tell myself will dissipate

And my love can be shown

But not today

I push the thoughts to the back of my mind

I will never have the courage

To tell her now I truly feel

And so I let the days pass

She's my friend; my sister

But it's only a lie

Loneliness

I feel like I'm all alone

I have no one to love

And no one to be loved by

I was made to love

Made for companionship

But I don't know how

To set a price for my heart

The price is set so low

Bought with three simple words

I love you

True or false

It doesn't matter

As long as I can convince myself

That she really means it

But she never does

She means it as much as I do

And I only say it

Because I'm longing for the one

That I truly love

I think about her

No matter who I'm with

But since I've convinced myself

That I can never be with her

I sell myself cheap

To anyone who will buy

I sell myself into loneliness

Will I ever recover

Distance

I'm standing right beside you

But you feel so far away

Our hearts are separated

There's a distance between us

I'm longing to feel your touch

To hear your sweet voice

But we stand in silence

Saying unspoken words

Of broken hearts

What's going on

Why can't I tell you how I feel

I need your comfort and love

But I feel nothing

This isn't how it's supposed to be

I Miss You

I still miss those nights

The late night car rides

With the usual mix CD

Your fingers perfectly between mine

Your head on my shoulder

I miss those beautiful eyes

And seeing the love in them

But most of all

I miss having that special someone

The person I could laugh with

And sometimes even cry with

The one who made my heart melt

While helping make my faith strong

I wish I could stop missing you

But you were the best thing

That has ever happened to me

I guess it will never end

I’ll always lie awake wondering

What if

Relapse

I found your letters today

It tore me apart inside

To see how badly I treated you

I took your sweet innocence

And I threw it out the window

You had so much to offer

But I just wanted physical pleasure

I have absolutely no doubt

That you could have been the one

But I ruined that

I took you from being a sweet girl

And made you a victim of confusion

A victim of my need for pleasure

I pray that you

Can recapture that innocence

You can be the girl

That God created

And not the one I made you into